S3E9: Leadership Hack: Asking Questions Rather Than Giving Advice (feat. Nina Kim MD, MSc)
Brooke
Welcome to Learning to Lead, a podcast about leadership, teamwork, and reimagining healthcare. This podcast is for learners, educators, and healthcare professionals interested in building leadership skills in a supportive community.
We are your hosts Rahul Anand, Maya Doyle, Peter Longley, and Brooklynn Weber.
Together we bring you conversations with emerging and established leaders, deep dives and hacks to help you become the best leader you can be.
Brooke
Hi listeners, and welcome back to Learning to Lead. Joining us today for a leadership hack is Dr. Nina Kim. Nina is faculty at the University of Washington and also faculty at the Infectious Diseases Society of America's Leadership Institute. So Nina, what is one of your favorite tools or hacks to become a better leader?
Nina
I think one of my favorite tools or hacks is not giving advice, which I'm taking from a great book called The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier. But I think as leaders, there is this aspect where people think you are the knower or the fount of advice or knowledge. And I think we really need to turn that on its head and say, instead of giving advice, we should be asking questions. And so I think the mark of a really great leader is really the one who asks the right questions, really gets the person that you're trying to lead or to help to really look within themselves and to come up with the answer together with you. And I have to tell you that I struggle with this a lot because there's like a very strong Hermione Granger impulse within me because I know the answer and I, you know, I have the answer and I really have to like tamp that down and really just ask questions more and listen.
Brooke
I love that. It's such a good hack. I didn't even think about that before, honestly. I think that going off what you're saying, like asking questions is so important before you give advice because, you know, that other person that you're trying or have the want to give advice to, you don't really know the whole story or everything that they know. So kind of like talking to them and getting them to answer their own question, I think is a really good hack.
Nina
Yeah, and I think it also reminds you that it's not really about you because, I mean, offering advice feels good, right, for the person who's giving advice because it gives you the sense of value. And there's also a little bit of a savior complex that comes with that. Like everything will fall apart if you don't save the day. And it's like, that's actually not often the case. So I have to constantly remind myself that. I think especially as physicians, we're sort of built or trained to give advice or to have the answer. And I have learned as I'm with patients that I learn so much more and we accomplish so much more together when I just ask the right questions and I'm not jumping in there with the answer. Because sometimes patients don't necessarily want that from you.
Rahul
This is Rahul. Yeah, I'm reminded of two things. One, that Lyssette Cardona first taught me, she was also faculty with us at the ID Leadership Institute and the mnemonic, WAIT: Why Am I Talking? So first thinking about that, and it's been more than five years and I'm still working on it. The second thing I'm reminded of is a lesson from improv. I recently took an improv class that was offered on campus. And so when you're running into a situation, you're saying something, but I realized that the incorrect thing that I was thinking of is how do I fit in versus the better thing, which is to think, how can I support this scene? So when I'm joining someone and a conversation's already happening, how can I support this scene? So, becoming more aware of what's happening, and how can I support this? As you mentioned, if you're coaching someone, how can I support this person? And the bottom line, as you said, is it's not about you, it's really about the other person or what we're doing together.
Brooke
Thank you so much, Nina, for sharing that hack. And thank you to our listeners. Make sure to tune in next week for our full episode where Nina's going to discuss how to better manage our time, energy, and attention.
Brooke
Thank you for listening to our show. Learning to Lead is a production of the Quinnipiac University podcast studio, in partnership with the Schools of Medicine, Nursing and Health Sciences.
Creators of this show are Rahul Anand, Maya Doyle, Peter Longley, and Brooklynn Weber.
The student producer is Brooklynn Weber, and the executive producer is David DesRoches.
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